Endorsement: “The End of History”

So it’s a Sunday afternoon, and you’re relaxing in your mahogany man-cave, flipping through your hand-copied 17th-century manuscript of the Book of Kells. Suddenly, the doorbell rings; it’s Burt Reynolds, the Old Spice Guy, and the Most Interesting Man in the World. Later, you’re two or three hands into a high-stakes game of hold ‘em – the $1 chips are worth $1,000 and the $10 chips are classic American sports cars – when Burt Reynolds suggests that he’s a little thirsty. Obviously, no standard beverage will do. You reach into a jewel-encrusted liquor cabinet, and you pull out one of these:

This is extreme Scottish beer maker BrewDog’s newest creation, “The End of History.” It’s a 55% ABV beer that combines high-octane badassery with small mammal taxidermy to create the most manly beverage possible. It’s also the Sugar Shack’s newest endorsement, despite costing $765. It’s named after a work of high philosophy called The End of History and the Last Man by Francis Fukuyama, and it’s probably bottled only by Navy SEALs who have summited Everest and made out with Queen Rania of Jordan at the same time.

The only reason why this post isn’t categorized under “Beer Reviews” is because we will never be able to buy it. You can’t see me, but I’m weeping softly into a throw pillow right now. Are you there, Burt? It’s me, Staker! Please, please bring this beer to us. Please. I’ll never ask for anything again.