10 Easy Steps To Fighting Holiday Depression: By A World-Traveling Drizzle

My tear-stained Christmas memories...

My tear-stained Christmas memories…

“This is the day the Lord has made.  Let us rejoice and be glad.”

I think Jesus wrote that.  But anyway, there are some valid points to that old field holler.  God artificially inseminated a woman (much in the same way gay men donate sperm to their lady friends) in order for his only son to be brutally and maliciously murdered some 33 years later.

For this, we should rejoice and be glad.  Glad that God decided to wait a few years before offing his son so the abortion issue could remain ambiguous, and provide for decades of drunken entertainment (both with impregnating and arguing with douche bag soccer moms)…and rejoice for it is yet again the time to face the Demons of Christmas Past that haunt us in the form of drunken mothers, abusive ex-girlfriends, and the long-forgotten California Raisins Christmas Special.

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Skirt Day

It’s a balmy 55 degrees in Southie today. Soon enough, the wrinkly wall-sitters with the uber-tans will be out in front of the rink again, five-year-olds will be kicking empty cans of Natty Ice around the Marine Park playground, and we’ll be day-drunk, waiting in a crowd at Sully’s for onion rings as mothers glare dispprovingly at us for smelling like whiskey. Continue reading