The Staker is a man with a passion for body hair cultivation. He leads the American League in Miller Lite, and took second place in the Emerson College spring 2006 literary harassment/creative functional blackout combined event. He likes shelf-stable food, balancing on things, sleeping in new positions, and contrarian voting behavior. A recent request for an artist’s rendering of what Staker will look like in 20 years produced this result:

Ha ka ka ka ka.

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Here are Staker’s Posts, and here is a story of another Staker, who is unrelated to the Shack Staker.