It’s not very often that a whole week passes without so much as an inappropriate Chatroulette screenshot or Shit List addition, but it has been about a week since the last Shack post. By now some of you may be wondering where we have been this whole time. To that question, there is an easy answer.
Just kidding, that’s not me. This is me:
It’s hard to write a blog post on a jet ski, folks.
For those of you who live in remote mountaintop caves, New England has seen the wrath of God over the past week or so. When I first noticed that there were more kayaks in the streets than cars, I felt a little betrayed, seeing as we just took God off the Shit List. Nevertheless, I figured that the opportunity to double-park a Boston Whaler in front of the Playwright and float a 30-rack of PBR out the broken front window of Dorgan’s was worth the cleanup.
Unfortunately for anyone who was hoping to turn the G Street Hill into the world’s most awesome Slip & Slide, however, the brunt of the monsoon seems to have fallen on Rhode Island, which our sources tell us is a small, sparsely-populated marshy area near New Bedford. After their mall got washed away and people started running out of hair gel, things got pretty ugly down there. We’re told that FEMA has been dealing with a Resident Evil-type situation. We wish them luck.
In any case, better start inflating that Zodiac. It’s a wet one out there.