See that shit? That’s a “scene kid.” I never knew they had a name. I guess I thought that was just what happened to kids who witnessed murders as children and went on to get picked last in gym class. And then, uh, badly misunderstand all the little nuances of human interaction, leading to alienation and self-loathing. I’m having a hard time pushing the funny through all the sadness. Suffice it to say that these kids make your everyday, run-of-the-mill strenuous efforts to look messy.
Thanks a lot, Drizzle. You introduced me to this, and now I have to deal with the idea that these people who I thought were isolated from one another are really the component parts of a large, albeit loosely affiliated, federation of shitbags. I’m feeling threatened. No, not threatened enough to refrain from freely antagonizing them. Because they will never, ever find me.
Let’s take a look at this shitbag, Blair Ravish. I’m going to say Blair Ravish in this post a lot, because if I say Blair Ravish a lot, then the act of saying Blair Ravish will attract the attention of friends of Blair Ravish, acquaintances of Blair Ravish, online associates of Blair Ravish, the embarrassed father, mother, and siblings of Blair Ravish, and Blair Ravish him/herself, which will hopefully provide me with a platform for publicly shitting on Blair Ravish. I don’t know Blair Ravish, but Blair Ravish has been held up by the internet as an exemplary “scene kid”, and thus must be crucified like an androgynous anti-Jesus with nipple rings. Blair Ravish, you are my enemy. Observe.
Recently we saw a Twitter trend that went a little something like this:
parkfreeafter6 #atablackpersonsfuneral people cry and mourn the loss of their loved one
parkfreeafter6 #atablackpersonsfuneral people generally refrain from invoking racial stereotypes
Blair Ravish had this to say:
Chicken. Of course. They have chicken at the funeral.
Blair Ravish, you are reading this right now, and you are thinking to yourself, why is this random guy from the internet giving me a hard time? It’s because you, Blair Ravish, have benefited from a measure of anonymity on the internet. Your oven timer just went off, bitch.
Fuck you, Blair Ravish. And your racist chicken, too!