Sinners, Repent!

Recently, the Staker’s critics have been engaging in somewhat of a feeding frenzy.  I can call it that because we don’t get your standard, run-of-the-mill internet trolls on this blog.  We only get people who actively dislike us specifically.  And I love that!  It means that I’m getting my point across.

To offer a little background, the Staker has garnered Shack heat for making the following two innocuous assertions:

  1. Crime fiction based in Southie is an idea that is played out.
  2. Fenway Bark is ridiculous.

Everything else I’ve written has been along the lines of How to wrestle a shark and What if Jersey Shore were set in the Congo?.

Nevertheless, let it never be said that I don’t respect the opinions of others, misinformed as they may be.  The weepy, bipolar snot rag “Alice” – who comments under the name “Southie Killer” and is a disgrace to the name of the Brady family’s maid – made one good point in her “comment” (in which she also, among other things, threatened to piss on our parents’ graves, expressed a somewhat troubling interest in performing ad hoc sterilizations on the street, called us racists because of something that happened a decade before we were born, and, inexplicably, correctly guessed my hairstyle, all presumably because she doesn’t know how IP addresses work).  It’s true, Alice – the term “yuppie” is the high-five of mildly derogatory terms.

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

Incidentally, the only reason we keep using it is because something better has yet to come along.

So I’m taking this upon myself.  I’m not going to pretend that our site traffic is substantial enough for me to put this to a vote, so I’m just going to throw this out there, and if you feel strongly one way or the other then you can tell me in the comments.

It’s maybe important to note that Southie didn’t invent the term “yuppie.” Other people disdained status-obsessed, materialistic, inconsiderate douchebags as well, and we got it from them.  Circumstances change, though, and maybe it’s time we come up with a term to describe the Southie yuppies in particular.

I think this is where they live.

I say this partly because I wouldn’t necessarily refer to every Southie newcomer as a “yuppie.”  Not all newcomers are petulant jackasses.  Some of them are perfectly nice families with kids, or retirees, or even single people in their 20’s who make it a point to try and understand how important being able to put down roots in Southie is for a lot of people.

In other words, the traits that characterize the people who we call “yuppies” are:

  • A selfish sense of entitlement.
  • The tendency to behave impolitely or look down one’s nose at others.
  • A suburban upbringing.
  • The willingness to talk a lot of shit, but an aversion to backing it up.
  • And, apparently, the belief that what distinguishes them from Staker and Drizzle is the fact that they “like good beer.”  Not sure what to make of this.

In light of all that, I suggest we start calling them Sinners, with a capital S, from SIN: smug, inconsiderate newbie.  It’s not the fact that they’re new that chaps our asses, it’s the fact that they care more about money and status than they do about the community and tipping well.

So here’s a message to all the Sinners out there (especially you, Alice): you are new in town.  The Southie community does matter.  You can’t walk into any city neighborhood and piss off the people who are already there without being called a douchebag.  And lastly, money doesn’t make the man, but even if it did, Fenway Bark would still be a fucking stupid idea.

Fuck you, Alice.  Sinners, repent!