The Sunday Paper

Groovin’… on a Sunday afternoon…

It’s the Sunday Paper!

… by beating an umpire to death with a folding chair and shot-putting third base into the jumbotron.  Only fitting that the Cubs lost 16-5.  We’ll miss ya, Lou.

How about that?  Rich guy doing rich guy things in a place where only rich people go.  I guess this is as good a time as any for the country club to start reconsidering their “No Black Muslims Allowed” policy.

STAKER THINK THIS HILARIOUS.  HULK SMASH LADY GAGA! HULK LIKE JUSTIN BIEBER THOUGH.

… over ads for prostitutes.  First you give us Scott Brown, and now you’re taking away my God-given American right to no-strings-attached, freaky-deeky, anonymous sexual encounters with shady people I meet on the internet?  What is this, fucking sharia?  The day Martha Coakley tells me what I can and can’t do on the internet will be the day the terrorists win.  And speaking of angry Muslims…

America unveils world’s largest nuclear arsenal, steals Iran’s milk money.

Rod Blagojevich has a future in politics in the same way that Mike “The Situation” has a future in the Catholic priesthood.

I imagine that the Vikings’ backup quarterback is polishing his gun right now.