I had never been to New York City. I grew up in Pennsylvania and managed not to set foot any closer to NYC than Long Island when I attended the Belmont Stakes back in 2002. That changed Thursday, July 22nd. I flew from O’Hare to LaGuardia to meet up with my mother who had taken a train up from Harrisburg, PA. The catalyst for the rendezvous was the US Air Guitar Championships.
Pictured: Face-Melting Awesomeness
Thanks to an inspired rock show Wednesday night at Quenchers and some extra-curricular activities following, I was operating on roughly three and a half hours of sleep upon arriving at the airport to catch my flight out. The staff at O’Hare is not reputed as having any desire to provide top notch customer service. Due largely to a symphony of ineptitude at the security checkpoint, the only breakfast option realistically available before the flight started boarding was McDonalds. I got two cheeseburgers, found the appropriate gate, sat down, and spent the next seven minutes wallowing in the self-loathing McD’s manages to pack into every bite.
It’s 1:34 in the morning and Rick Ross is on Jimmy Fallon. We would like to introduce you to someone who is far superior to Rick Ross and Jimmy Fallon. His name is Nacko Ball. He is not from Southie, but he fulfills our minimum requirement of 1/8th Cherokee. Here is his statement:
Been in NYC for less than a day. I had to pay $8 for a PBR tall boy. Everyone is either a Mets fan or a Yankees fan. It’s like Hell if Hell had great Thai food.